Benjamin K. Tippett has a theory . The University of New Brunswick mathematician believes that he ’s visualize out what , exactly , those insane sailors see that night in 1928 when they encountered Cthulhu on a turn a loss island in the Pacific . And so Tippett has save a hilariously deadpan newspaper explaining “ non - Euclidean geometry ” once and for all . I can not secern you how much joy and apprehension I am have right now . Here ’s what he has to say .

In 1928 , the belated Francis Wayland Thurston published a shameful manuscript in purport of warning the world of a global conspiracy of occultists . Among the document he gathered to support his thesis was the personal account of a sailor by the name of Gustaf Johansen , describing an encounter with an extraordinary island . Johansen ’s description of his adventures upon the island are fantastic , and are often considered the most enigmatic ( and therefore the high spot ) of Thurston ’s collection of papers .

We contend that all of the believable phenomenon which Johansen described may be explain as being the observable consequences of a localized bubble of spacetime curve . Many of his most incomprehensible statements ( necessitate the geometry of the computer architecture , and variability of the location of the horizon ) can therefore be said to have a unified underlying cause .

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We propose a simplified exercise of such a geometry , and show using numerical figuring that Johansen ’s description were , for the most part , not simply the ravings of a lunatic . Rather , they are the nontechnical observations of an intelligent man who did not understand how to describe what he was seeing . Conversely , it seems to us improbable that Johansen should have unknowingly founder such a exact verbal description of the aftermath of spacetime curvature , if the details of this history were merely the dreg of some half remembered fever dream .

We calculate the type of matter which would be need to yield such alien spacetime curve . Unfortunately , we determine that the involve affair is quite unphysical , and possess a nature which is entirely alien to all of the experiences of human science . Indeed , any civilisation with mastery over such affair would be able-bodied to construct warp drives , cloaking devices , and other alien geometries call for to handily move around through the universe .

Read the intact amazing scientific paper:“Possible Bubbles of Spacetime Curvature in the South Pacific”[PDF ]

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