Photo: Bebe Rexha TikTok

Bebe Rexhais getting candid about her body image struggles.
On Monday, the singer, 32, posted a tearfulTikTok, during which she explained how weight gain has affected her self confidence. In the video, Rexha shared that she’s having a hard time staying “merry” this holiday season because she doesn’t “feel good in [her] skin.”
“So it is the holidays and I know we’re all supposed to be, like, merry and like, ‘Yay, it’s the holidays,’ which I am — ish,” she began the video.
Rexha then revealed she’s the “heaviest” she’s ever been, adding: “I weighed myself just now, and I don’t feel comfortable sharing the weight ‘cause I feel embarrassed.”
She continued: “I just feel disgusting, you know, like in my own body.”
Rexha went on to explain that her feelings about her weight made her want to take a step back from social media.
“I haven’t been posting as much because I don’t feel good in my skin and when I don’t feel good, I don’t want to post and that’s really honestly the reason I haven’t been posting in the last year or so as much as I used to. I think all the body positivity that stems from me is probably a place of hurt and confusion,” she said, adding, “I don’t know how to help myself anymore or how to love myself.”
Bebe Rexha at the 2019 Grammys.Rich Fury/Getty

Being open and honest on social media isn’t new for Rexha. She often encourages body positivity and self acceptance online. In July, sheposteda TikTok of herself dancing in lingerie toNicki Minaj’s “Good Form.”
“How much do you think I weigh? No one’s business,” she wrote in text over the video. “Cause I’m a bad b— no matter what my weight. But let’s normalize 165 lbs.”
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She previouslyopened upabout encouraging her fans to love themselves in a June interview with PEOPLE, explaining, “As a woman who wasn’t the cookie-cutter pop-star, I hope to inspire women to love their bodies and feel beautiful at any size.”
In a May interview with PEOPLE, Rexhasaidshe was once told, “Nobody likes a fat pop star,” while first beginning her music career. Since then, she said she’s gained confidence.
“That f—ed with my head, because they made me believe that I was nothing unless I looked a certain way,” she said at the time. “I didn’t like looking at pictures because there was a little fold of skin. Now I’m like, ‘You can’t live your life like that.’ I got the curves, I got the ass, and that’s what you’re going to get!”
source: people.com