Has anyone else noticed modern organized faith is kind of a bummer ? Even if your divine belief system is n’t violently persecuting another , it seems like you ’re still trapped in a church singing dirges all Sunday . modernistic faith does n’t have any flair . This is why I ’d like to offer a modest proposal : countenance ’s bring back the ancient Greek god . Yes , I stand for Zeus , Hera , Apollo , Aphrodite , Ares , the whole shebang — and here ’s why I think they ’d make a significant improvement over our current options .
They ’re relatable . The Hellenic gods are definitely gods , but they ’re also still recognizably human . They have the same emotions , problems and insecurity as regular humans do , and thus , they ’re far more understandable than nebulous cloud or erstwhile bewhiskered men on thrones . The Hellenic god in reality bang what people go through in their lives , because they know the same belief . This may make the Greek immortal frail , but it also makes them far more relatable than other divine beings .
They have variety . If you ’re part of a monotheistic religion , your god is kind of your one - point shopping for immortal . You ’re stuck with them , no matter what materialize in your life , no matter what your current needs are . But there are tons of Greek gods ! Do n’t think Apollo is bring the job done ? Switch to Hephaestus . Have a specific dwelling - relate issue coming up ? Then pray to Hestia , goddess of the open fireplace . While a monotheistic god moderately much handles everything for his follower , the Greek gods know how to depute , giving followers option based on need , druthers and situation .
They ’re easily adaptable to forward-looking biography . Most major religious belief have n’t had a serious update for at least a millenary or so . As such , it can be grueling to truly integrate these faith into modernistic times . But thanks to their diversity , the Greek gods would tear decent into place . Hermes is obviously the god of cellphones , emails and text messages . As a journeyman , Hephaestus would credibly handle all computers and web issues , while Demeter would watch over restaurants . Apollo , the god of YouTube telecasting . You ca n’t secernate me that life would n’t be at least a petty bit easy if we had a god specifically handling YouTube videos .
They are extremely clear - minded . Grecian immortal do not care what you are . They do n’t manage about your sex , the color of your skin , or your sexual preference . They have never recite anyone to start a war ( except Ares , the god of war , and even then it was just to be having a warfare , not to persecute other groups ) . In fact , it was generally ancient Greeks who start their own war , and then ask the gods for aid , at which point they ’d pick sides . All I ’m saying is that the Greek god never enliven any holy war , never gave anyone horseshit for not think in them , and never demanded their followers proselytize . Because the Grecian god only cared about themselves , and the side benefit of that self - centeredness was a refreshing lack of prejudice .
You know where you stand with a Greek god . The Hellenic gods are like hormonal teenagers . Their emotions run high , and can change at a free fall of a hat . They ’re easily angered and easy enamored , but they can be managed . You know they ’re go to be voltaile , so you’re able to deal with that — and if they materialise to be nice and kind to you , hey , bonus . The Greek gods did n’t suddenly change from a native sulphur - and - fervency - adoration - me - or - I’ll - smite - you Old Testament - character thing to a dearest - everybody - hippy - dippie New Testament - matter , totally contravene themselves . They ’ve always been self - centered jerk , making them uniform , if nothing else .
Greek god will have sex activity with you . That ’s pretty awe-inspiring . Just have a go at it you have a prospect to score with a god or goddess bestow a sure zest to lifespan . Now confessedly , some time the Hellenic gods got a small … er , rape - y , and that ’s not cool . On the other hand , Law & Order : SVU would become passing exciting .
They make at least as much horse sense as the other guys . One of the biggest problem with the Judeo - Christian God that Christian scholars have tried to cut over the centuries is how a respectable and loving god could let evil to exist ; while they ’ve hail up with plenty of result , none of them are peculiarly satisfying . This is n’t an egress for the Grecian gods , because they are n’t pretending to be omnipotent and loving . Like humans , they can be good and evil themselves . You do n’t have to wonder why the Greek god let bad affair happen to good mass , because the Grecian gods can simply be asshole . They like about you as long as you ’re caring / genuflecting / sacrificing bull’s eye to them . nipple for tat . aboveboard , just take a feel around . Does it seem like the existence is presently being escape by one omniscient bozo who whole make out everybody or by a bunch of over - emotional , ego - pore jerks ? I rest my case .
They ’re so much more fun . Here ’s a inadequate leaning of things we could do if we bestow back the Hellenic gods :
• Go to oracles .
• Go on quests .
• Fight monsters .
• Challenge gods to competition .
• Go to Hades and endeavor to deliver dead loved ones .
• Dip babies in magical rivers , making them invulnerable .
Now , not all of those are effective ideas — most of them are insanely dangerous — but man , they ’re still a Scheol of a lot more exciting than seat in church service for an hour every Sunday .
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