Five Ways to Solve the Paradox of Comic Con

The expectant , and most offensive , paradox of all fourth dimension is : What happens if a unicorn takes a maiden over ’s virginity ? But the next - outstanding paradox has to do with New YorkComic Conand its ilk .

And it is this : Why is an result that should be a celebration of the future and the imaginativeness so sure-enough - fashioned and same ol’ , same ol’ ?

Do n’t get me faulty — whenMeredithsaid she ’d give me a ticket if I couldcover a screeningthis weekend , I was thrilled and delighted , and I had a good time . And I appreciate that some of what does push me nuts about Comic Con has everything to do with me and nothing to do with it : I fire out on festival concert at least half a decade ago , strip clubs discomfit me unless I ’m moderately intoxicated , and while I am a capitalist , the Mall of America makes me feel guilty about it . And with its bunch and $ 4 feeding bottle of soda , paid models and attendees in slinky costume getting ogle by raunchy dudes , and yards upon yard of questionably utile merchandise , your average SF con replicates all three of those place rather ably .

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But , y’know , it ’s all right that it ’s not exactly my handbag . patently , base on the 1000000000000 ( little exaggeration ) of people cram into one-half of the Javits Center with me , it is many other folks ’ . Nonetheless , I think the doubt broached above is worth enquire . Because it seems to me like , if cons like this weekend ’s have been around for almost four decennium now ( the San Diego Comic - Constarted in 1970 ) , they sure have n’t changed much :

• There are booths , with things at them . masses sit down behind the tables at the booths , or stand in front of them .

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• They generally give away cheap schwag , like flimsy prefatorial comics and pins and maybe ( if they ’re going all out ) DVDs or pen ; none of it is surpassing or really useful beyond five minutes of entertainment value . I would be truly surprised if a solid 90 percent of the schwag did n’t end up in a landfill or ( I hope ) recycling facility within a hebdomad .

• And of course of study , there are breast . Everywhere . Except in the places where there is already ass instead — girl ass , that is , naturally . I do n’t wanna sound like a sensitive ponytail man — and Lord knows I have ramp up my commenting calling here on a steady dieting of seventh - grade sexual urge jokes — but whatever our item-by-item opinions about it are , it seems to me only mediocre to acknowledge that your average con ’s depicting of sexuality is more or less one - sided and , while hardly on the spirit level of most cyberspace realness porno , leans closer to “ exploitatory ” than to “ healthily lusty . ” That we may be inure to it at this pointedness does n’t make it less straight .

So now that some of you are annoyed enough to stop look at Internet world porn to lumber in and comment ( and I know your botheration — I had to do the same matter to get this thing write ) , let me evoke some things I think would be cool to see at cons of the futurity — so that they ’d really be more like Cons of the hereafter :

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1 ) think beyond the booth . Sure , you may take someplace to set up your stuff , and you may not have the money to trick it out , but why give yourself capable to capricious Fate and whomever she happens to direct walking by ? If I were trying to get noticed in a gargantuan room full of the great unwashed dressed as everything from Norse god to extragalactic holy men , the last thing I ’d do is sit still . I ’d have a crew out on the floor , and not just pass out flier . They ’d be handing out intellectual nourishment or toys or carry a video tv camera and doing quick Q&As — anything to get someone ’s attention — and then pass on out a flyer .

2 ) Awesome ( tinny ) engineering science . Better still , what if you passed out a bunch of gadgets like those buzzy remote control that eatery practice to tell you your board is quick , marked with your booth locating ? And then signaled the mass conduct them , either individually , in small group , or — for an awesome effect — all at once , to show up for a kickass presentation or giveaway ? There ’d be some overhead , but if you commit it off , you ’d make an feeling . And even if that was n’t accomplishable , heck , instead of a rotten poster , give out a few stigmatise USB thumb - thrust fundamental mountain chain with something playfulness on them — at least those ’ll get used for a lot longer than a week .

3 ) Live entertainment . The SF - and - fantasy bunch is full of people who are fantastically originative , even if they do n’t have the money to make a summer blockbuster themselves . How tough would it be to put on short plays throughout the day ? Or aSpock Vs . Q – dash dialogue ? Or story reading , or poetry gibe , or interpretative dances , or mini concerts , or television confession ?

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4 ) Live synergistic amusement . And for that matter , since we canplay games while we ’re browse the Web , why should n’t we be capable to toy games while we ’re browse the carrell ? Some creative wizard should come up with a alive - action - role - playing - style game you could play and score points at — and even meet fresh people during — while you grease one’s palms trade paperbacks and attend panels .

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5 ) More aphrodisiacal dudes . There . I said it . Everyone ’s always paying sassing service to how SF ought to be more accommodating to masses who are n’t heterosexual man , but since the aforementioned boobs are n’t going anywhere , permit ’s at least balance them out with more testosterone than ablue evil He - Man android statue . And they do n’t have to be Fabio clones — actually , they probably should n’t be . Someone should take a few buff tan dudes who look like trainers at expensive health cabaret , strap leather baldrics on ’em , and see what kind of answer they get .

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