Karan Brar.Photo:Presley Ann/Getty Images
Presley Ann/Getty Images
Former Disney Channel star Karan Brar is opening up about his mental health journey.
In a first-person essay forTeen Vogue, theStargirlactor shares how he started developing symptoms of depression in the summer of 2020 after his close friend and former costarCameron Boycedied from epilepsy in July 2019.
Shortly before Boyce’s death, he, Brar and their friend, actress Sophie Reynolds, moved in together. Not long after the three became roommates, Brar, now 24, came out as queer, and while his friends were supportive, he found himself dealing with internalized homophobia.
After Boyce’s death, things only became harder for theStargirlactor. “I hadn’t dealt with my internalized homophobia, thinking that coming out to my friends was enough to eradicate that (it wasn’t). My mental health worsened, and my grief was unresolved,” he wrote.Brar went on to add that he had “been on a downward spiral since Cameron suddenly died.” He continued, “With the pandemic putting the world on pause, I was forced to sit with myself. I refused to acknowledge how much pain I was in and isolated myself in a deeply unhealthy relationship with alcohol. Some of my friends knew that I needed help, but I didn’t for a long time.”
Karan Brar attends the premiere of Disney+’s “Stargirl” on March 10, 2020.Kevin Winter/Getty
Kevin Winter/Getty
Three years ago, after experiencing suicidal thoughts, the actor said he decided to admit himself to an inpatient treatment center for his depression and anxiety. While in treatment, Brar was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and major depressive disorder.
“What many people may not realize is that suicidal ideations don’t necessarily appear overnight — instead they can take root and grow from one stray thought,” he wrote. “Before you know it, you find yourself slipping into suicidal thoughts, making plans ‘just in case.’ It slowly chips away at your soul, leaving you in a state of helplessness.”
The Disney actor continued, “There were only a few fragments left of my will to live, but I had enough to carry me to the doorstep of my treatment center — and I felt incredibly lucky knowing that. I’d spent years trying to fastidiously maintain a public facade, and yet there I was, fulfilling the Disney star rehab prophecy I had been adamant on avoiding. I was flooded with a sense of failure, but there was no turning back now.”
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Karan Brar attends the Netflix Premiere ofMurder Mystery 2on March 28, 2023.Charley Gallay/Getty
Charley Gallay/Getty
Brar went on to share that he hasn’t experienced PTSD symptoms in a while. In terms of his depression, the actor noted in his essay that he’s currently in remission and on medication.
“I’m finding my emotions to be much more manageable,” he explained. “I’m no longer drowning in the grief of losing Cameron. Rather, I’m in acceptance of grief being an ever changing experience I just have to see through. Everyone around me can also see these changes, and I can feel their shoulders dropping in relief as we go further into our twenties.”
source: people.com
