Bryan Menegus is one of the most thwarting editors I ’ve ever wreak with , which is to say he had annoying feedback like ‘ Do you have a author on this ? ’ , ‘ This paragraph is accomplished gibberish ’ , ‘ Did you forget to terminate this sentence ? ’ , or ‘ This is just whole factually wrong ’ . He also changed the structure of sentences and various Word so as to massively and dramatically “ improve ” my writing and make it “ make sense . ” Who ’s this guy remember he is ?
So while I am officially deplorable to report that Bryan and Gizmodo Transportation com have recently experienced what lawyers call “ departure of syndicate , ” his departure came just presently enough to forbid several members of the G / O Media Group faculty from fleeing his editorial oppressiveness and starting an unedited Substack about delete civilization . Or mayhap that ’s just me . Several of Bryan ’s colleagues ask to roast him per the Gizmodo tradition , instead mentioned things like him being an amazing reporterwho hasshed lightonappalling travail abusesbysome of the world’smost muscular bay window , a genuinely safe person who does things like volunteering to deliver groceries to vulnerable people during the coronavirus pandemic , oneofGizmodo’sfunniestheadlinewriters , and a pretty baller amateurish stick - and - poke tattoo creative person . I suspect that last titbit is selection bias , as anyone who died of bloodborne disease or ink toxic condition did not respond to requests for gossip .
Anyhow , as much as I might take issue with these positively charged depictions of Bryan ’s character reference , I ’m oblige to reissue them . All of them . There ’s a lot . I ’m not jealous or anything , I swear .
Illustration: Angelica Alzona
Gizmodo forever . And please tell Bobbo the cat I love him for me . Also , you still owe me a stick and sack of this . – Tom McKay , stave author at Gizmodo
Bryan is one of the best writers I ’ve redact . He is truly bright and fearsomely skeptical of those in powerfulness . There are few the great unwashed so dead unimpressed by and gross out by the wealth and trappings of the Silicon Valley rich who tech journalists often cover . This is a credit to him .
When Gawker was dampen it take a lot of money to make Facebook Live videos , but because it was broke it did not in reality spend money to make skillful Facebook Live video . Which is how , for a few months in 2016 , Bryan found himself frequently ingesting the perfectly most repulsive things on camera . I observe him make , and salute , Cheeto - impregnate tequila ( it was greasy ) , Marmite - based beer ( also not good ) , and bring together me in taste cattle ranch fertilisation - flavored tonic ( it sample , as I would take up , a very sweaty and unclean valet de chambre ’s contamination would taste after he attempted to bath in a chemical substance fall at a feedlot ) . Bryan would do anything for the web log Facebook Live .
Zucker-san… You’re so…. KAWAAAAIIII!Illustration: Bryan Menegus
While I would wish to recall Bryan for is the time people beg Facebook Lives to end so Bryan would blockade have to consume so much weird shit , or for the fashion he went from the guy hired to post viral videos he found on the internet to the hombre who kind of make the whole technical school labor nonplus and first made everyone pay attention to the outside political big businessman of redditors , I primarily remember him for the sentence we were both in the office , no one else had derive in , and we decided to vape chocolate grounds and see what find .
Do n’t do that .
I have the sneaking suspicion that Bryan is one of those masses without a spoilt bone in their trunk . That ’s despite him never ask me to play guitar , Overwatch , Warzone , or anything with him , really . I was always impressed with his ability to get his zep Elon Musk to drop into Gizmodo ’s DM , and he would take my edits with only the casual blink of an eye of blinding white - hot madness . He would also prowl the GMG function listeningto this .
Photo: Alex Brook Lynn
Good night , sweet prince .
I ’m told that Bryan is a dogged labor reporter , bring to light shocking revelations like “ employment sucks . ” I have also personally observed his tragical decent - hombre - cape , like when he urged co - worker to join a mutual help connection after he make covid ( ! ) while offer for one . Based on those lineament alone , you might think he ’s like any other Brooklyn - based move up emoji type . You ’d mostly be right-hand , but know this : He ’s also incredibly marvelous .
This height is famed because he has actively forsaken his phenotypical destiny . A perfect indoor kid , I watched Bryan drop yr hunch over a basketball star ’s frame over a computer screen like a giraffe eat from a dumpster . He did this in quest of a much high calling than news media . From his humble beginnings click - laundering YouTube video for Sploid , to the heights he reached reporting out shit - posts like “ No One desire My Hot Dog Salad ” and “ New York City to Sex - Havers : 😉 , ” Bryan is a unfeigned internet garbageman — one of the last .
Screenshot: Veronica de Souza
Sure , thwarted editors often sent me his drafts because they had “ no idea what this [ guy ] is trying to say . ” And more than once I had to remind Bryan to mention the actual subject of his narration in the first 1,000 words . But these were ultimately symptoms of the digital neurocysticercosis he contracted by display himself to raw , untreated online . Who else would log onto Tumblr dot com for the sake of readers ?
His aliveness at Gizmodo might be over , but the folk tale of Bryan Menegus will go on constantly . In 20 year , when his former colleague are huddled around burning e - scooter in the shadow of a descend world , they will distinguish the taradiddle of the Jersey Angle , Sadsquatch , the Tiredest Giant in the World . undecomposed night , sweet bud .
To a true soldier of the tech Labour move , I wassail you .
Screenshot: Veronica de Souza
To the best of my knowledge , some of the funniest , most crazy newspaper headline to run on the site Gizmodo Elvis com in the last few class have been the handiwork of Bryan Menegus . Like the rest of the sickos at this website , Bryan has an absolutely twisted sense of humour . That said , he ’s as talented as a toil and insurance policy reporter as he is at edit your copy into something legible and possibly even interesting . I was always grateful when I was able to put my written matter in his capable mitt because it meant he would make the piece much strong than the soma it was in when I filed . Any newsroom would be lucky to have him .
I ab initio estimate it would be difficult to roast Bryan for two reason : he is a big truelove , and he is my ex-wife - boyfriend , so it might be kind of awkward . But then I remembered his spicy dog saladblogand almost puked , so jazz it .
I met Bryan when he was still known around here as “ Sploid Boy ” ( RIP Sploid ) . He shortly prove he was capable of much more than that , including web log hits likethis , this , andthis(but notthis , and , sadly , notthiseither ) .
It quickly became clear that he was one of those rarified masses who really , genuinely know and appreciated the eldritch corners of the internet . comfortably still , his admiration was n’t some gross cornerstone of a try out - hard personality like it is for so many Online People — he ’s just really unspoilt at find and catalogue weird , repulsive , and otherwise appal net ephemeron , for no rationality other than it makes his friends laugh ( or squall ) . likewise , unlike performative Internet War Reporters , he did n’t cover online extremism for personal glory , but rather because he want to call out the platforms implicitly further it before it was too later . ( Ah , well . )
The only fib I can think of that comes close to rib Bryan is passing boring ( I asked him to take concern of my plant life for 3 months while I was abroad and he almost kill it because he impart it in the dark ) , so alternatively I will share my pet Bryan fib : On Valentine ’s Day in 2017 , we got drunk and went to see Fifty Shades Darker . He stand up and front around the theater to verify none of our coworkers had the same idea , and lo and behold , our boss Katie Drummond was sitting in the back with her husband . This would have been way more mortifying , but Katie was also seeing a 50 Shades of Grey movie on Valentine ’s Day , so really , we all just have ourselves .
Anyway , Bryan is good , and I desire whoever was responsible for run him out of here dies on the vine .
Bryan Menegus was in all likelihood way too nice to me .
When I arrived at Gawker Media to spearhead the Facebook Live initiative , which was another way in which the monolith social medium electronic internet attempt to siphon content from newsrooms by granting each the take up - up capital to hire someone like me , I was a pain in the bum for almost everybody . It was my business to take a bunch of deadline - driven , blogging diary keeper and haunt them to enter in experimental television productions that would well out live from our office .
In trying to draft some of the interpreter across all the Gawker brands , there were a few reactions that were n’t overwhelmingly avoidant : some wanted desperately to be on tv camera , as they may have had ambitions for a future on the smallest cover ; some just drew the short straw , as every Gawker brand had to provide talent for some form of message per calendar week ; some … like Bryan , were just really nice . I was never certain if he felt bad for me , or if he thought it was easier to do what I ask than parry my request for the next day or so . I wish to believe that he enjoyed some of the trick I would engage him in , like an on - tv camera abstruse nosedive into the merits ofCheerwine , or one fullPower Hour of Super Mario Smash Brothers .
I leave Gawker Media , now Gizmodo Media Group or GMG G / O Media , in 2017 . I am grateful that he was one of the people I in reality bide in touch with , not just because we portion out an interest in boxing but also because I am now the lofty owner of one of his famous joystick n ’ poke tattoos which took up residence on my outer calfskin in the form of a coffee loving cup and saucer . I can only imagine he is on his style to bigger and better .
Bryan is one of those cyberspace renaissance people who can do everything . He ’s a writer , editor program , and creative person . He can work on serious piece , funny pieces , and everything in between . His versatility is what made Gizmodo a address site , and he ’s painfully missed . But wherever he winds up will be better for it . We drop you , Bryan .
Bryan , you are so much more hard-core than me , and I ’ll really overleap your influence .
By the time I arrived at Gizmodo , Bryan had move on from his Spolid - y , Facebook Live - y daytime and was firmly into his I Am a Very Serious Journalist Who Is Taller Than You stage , which is something I just made up but is at least part unfeigned on multiple points . Anyway , it became immediately clear to me that Bryan ’s superpower is call out bullshit — Amazon ’s , mostly , but he enforce it to anyone who thought they could luxate one past him , and watching him rip apart some PR someone ’s nonsense was one of my best-loved division of the line of work . affair is , he ’d apply the same argumentative rigour to get out of doing work he thought was unintelligent . I can not narrate you how many sentence I assigned a blog to Bryan only for him to spend as much clip as it would have taken him to write the damn thing explaining to me why the story was merely not deserving cover . for sure , he was often right , but I ’m still mad about it .
The report Bryan did make up one’s mind to pen , however , are excellent . And as an editor in chief , he made every news report he touched better . He ’s that rarified diary keeper with an equal capacity for deep , investigative reporting and deranged , screaming shitposting . He ’s profoundly empathetic and viciously reliable . He ’s a caring and loyal friend and a gifted creative person . He do endearing adust goods . On top of all that , he is as grandiloquent as I seize most rich people are but without all the ghoulish parts and has a tremendous qat . Gizmodo is poorer without you , Bryan . Please send cookies .
Bryan ! ! You always looked so stock . I hope you ’re getting some time to roost . Or at least to pour some cool unearthly shit .
I never had a dirtbag coworker before Bryan . But now that I ’ve had one dirtbag coworker , I wish I had more dirtbag coworkers . Also fuck you for the hot heel salad office .
I ’m frantic that Bryan runs faster than me — it ’s in all likelihood because he ’s a cheeseparing beanpole but it ’s infuriating consider how intemperately I have to seek to be a whole minute or two slower per statute mile . I ’m also mad that whenever he edited my web log , he love exactly what to rationalize and add where to make it a good piece . Further , I ’m mad that Bob is no longer in Cat Slack and that away from being good with words , Bryan does rad tattoos . It ’s implausibly unmannerly to be talented on multiple tier AND have a cute cat . I ’m mad that I did n’t get to have more of my blogs edit by him . I ’m MADDEST , however , that he inflicted the hot domestic dog salad upon the world . corrode shit , my dude .
Bryan is so talented at a absurd bit of things it ’s hard to consider he ’s a real person that subsist . But he once brought me parched goods when I really needed them and that ’s why he ’ll forever be in my heart . Also Bob . Bob is whizz .
Bry is an incredible newsman , a damn good editor , and a ( surprisingly ! ! ! ! ! ) becoming tattoo creative person . He ’s smart , funny , and one of the most compassionate people I ’ve ever fulfill on the Gizmodo squad . That state , he was also the one who convert me to watchThe End Of Evangelionon , like , my first week here , which was doubtless the sorry prank anyone ’s ever played on me . No amount of attentive , patient redaction will make up for the fistfuls of brain cadre I undoubtedly miss after waking up at 3 a.m. for the 5th day in a words from flying killer robot nightmares . In short , fuck that guy .
In the three - plus years of Earther ’s existence , Bryan mayhap wrote one or two blogs for us . it just so happens that one of those blogs is perhaps the most beautifully deranged piece I have ever had the pleasure of redaction . It was about New York ’s styrofoam ban . A normal person would reckon at the theme and deploy fact and bod to indicate that styrofoam has no place in beau monde , and that street arab culture is strangling the planet . Bryan chose to publish a pieceentirely in NYC Guido Voice . In a world of intractable problems , we need more trouble - solver like Bryan .
Bryan is a total peach and a really talented bozo . He ’s also good - looking .
This makes me feel deadly sure-enough but I have acknowledge Bryan for over 10 years . We foregather as two little ( yet obscenely grandiloquent ) shits in college , when Bryan ’s hairsbreadth had around the same diameter as an astronaut ’s helmet and mine was a questionable shade of “ box red . ” We go on to work together at * two * jobs , mean we ’ve been bellyache about work to each other for over half a decade . Bryan is the first person I text when I encounter something truly vile online , lie with I can send these things to him without warning or setting . He is mirthful , kind and smart , although he * did * once “ vape coffee ” for a narration for some reason . I can not find this tale but I am in possession of the vaporiser he used for his enquiry .
If I were to roast Bryan , I ’d in all probability sharea video of the time he ate an intact lemon , include the cutis , at his desk while insisting he ’s “ never thrown up where he ’s not supposed to . ” I ’d also possibly share a screenshot of the sentence he thought the movie Ford v Ferrari was about tennis .
The thing is , I do n’t desire to ridicule Bryan , because he is a great author and editor in chief and a big person . I ’d rather guy the various [ REDACTED ] who run [ REDACTED ] , and proceed to admit the very competitive top fleck for dumbest [ RDACTED ] .
Great to see so many formers back on the web log ! We should all just prewrite our roast at this point , amirite ? Ha ha ha .
Anyway , there ’s a scene in the movie child of Men in which Michael Caine repeatedly tell apart a gunman “ pull my finger , ” even after getting his fingerbreadth bungle off . Bryan is like that . Hardcore til the end . Solid dude .
First time I edited Bryan he had just returned from a miniature horse pattern in Lexington , Kentucky . He was very dedicated to transmit this specific equine ebullience as an understandable thing , kind of relatable in reality , but also with its own very distinct qualities . Culinary shitposting aside , Bryan bringing back the atm was always fun to hear secondhand , even when he did n’t have that much sport in the field itself because sometimes he ’d go to awful places like the DeploraBall . I wish for Bryan to now be getting into frightening situations for journalism , banging out good funny headlines , coming up with more eldritch way other people can prepare bad things , and bullying rich grind . His kat is suspect .
There are so many thing I could write in a roast to BryBry , our bloggy boy who went from publish up sploids and doing deep , fantastic investigations into the eldritch internet and transitioned into being an amazing labor and investigative newsman and editor program , but I ’ll start with the solemn and the obvious : Bryan deserved and deserves well .
Frankly , all of you do . But I just need to put it on the record that Bryan , you merit better .
Being your supporter and colleague was such a joy . take in you work , so exciting . I ’ve never seen someone who * gets * net civilization quite like you , and tho those days are mostly behind you , it ’s the weird shit I ’ll always remember . Because I ’m also a citizen of the cyberspace and we recognize each other when we see it .
Sure , you made us look at a lot of bad material . And the internet has deeply broken your brain , but you somehow made it worth it .
I ’m very unhinged that you were n’t able to blog this video as your final web log .
You get this stupefied Sung from second mark adhere in our heads one day and Dicko almost permit you blog it , but we all concur it would be the perfect net blog to inflict upon the world . I ’m so wild that was taken off from all of us . So there it is for the readers . This is the shit Bryan would just drop into Slack .
I was in a car the other day with other people because that is allowed now and that fucking call was on some Spotify playlist . And all I could reckon of was the repetition of that third verse . Over . And over . And over . And now I ’m writing this , knowing this will be stuck in my nous for hours if not days .
If you need to call me “ babe ”
Just go forward now
And if you wish to tell me “ peradventure ”
And if you wanna buy me bloom
And if you would like to talk for hours
Just go in advance now . Fuck off for this , buddy . But also I love you .
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